Asking her father...

Its no longer required to do like it was in the 50s and 60s but most people think it is still a nice gesture and shows your respect to the family.

Step 1: Be prepared!!  I can't explain this any clearer. Know as much about the family structure and their beliefs. You don't want to be meeting the father for the first time and not understand who's side of the family Uncle Tom is on.  I'm not saying you need to study the family tree but its nice to know as much as you can before you arrive. I know its common sense but you should be as prepared as you can be.  You might think you know the father very well but be prepared because if you have a relationship built already he'll probably have plenty of questions for you.

Step 2: Be ready an answer questions about all your personal business: finances, housing, kids, other future plans that includes his daughter.  You might already be "buddies" he might be your hunting buddy or golf buddy but his little girl will always be his little girl be ready to answer serious questions when the time comes. He'll probably be harder on you than if you didn't know him at all.  You just need to understand where he stands and treat him with the utmost respect.

Step 3: If at all possible try and include her mother.  Like I said before its not the 50s or 60s anymore and her mother will appreciate being part of the event. She'll find out almost immediately from her father so do your best to have a follow-up conversation with your future mother in law.  It’s not tradition necessarily but it is a nice gesture and she may have some valuable wisdom about her daughter that Dad might not have known!

 

WARNING: You want to be able to trust the parents enough not to tell their daughter about the news even when times get rough! You might want to plan this meeting as close as possible to the actual engagement so the secret doesn't leak. Its tough to keep secrets from your daughter especially news like this so be careful not too give too much information away to her parents. If your asking the family for permission your future bride to be probably has a pretty good idea she will be asked anyway so if the news does get out you'll have to shock her with a "PERFECT" proposal.